The Good Days

I recently forgot how to draw.

It would be less frustrating if I forgot how to draw...I don't know, an old-timey revolver? And then I would just die at the noon showdown, not spend countless hours attempting to sketch the same basic thing I've been sketching for the past ten years. The blank paper. How it mocks me.

I mean, this is something I've been doing for years. Painting, sketching, sculpting, calligraphy...if it's artsy, I've probably at least dabbled in it. 

Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I've drawn the same thing so many times, the repetition itself is sabotaging me. Maybe to fix my brain, I need to do something outside of the paint my cabin a funny color or write script from my favorite books on my walls.

 Oh wait. I've already done that.

Similarly, I recently experienced one of the best writing days I've had in over a year. I wrote 9,200 words by the end of the day, over 20 pages, and if my fingers and wrists hadn't threatened to break off, I'd probably have kept going until I'd finished Book 2 of my Firebird Chronicles. 

Today, I wrote exactly three words. And I erased all of them.

There's not always a reason, and by the gods I will eventually extract my minimum 1,500 words from myself, but sometimes there just isn't any art. Sometimes, my eyes are dry and my brain is mush, and it's all I can do to make myself sit down at my desk. 

I still have to write. That's my job. And at least I can erase the poop that I pull from my brain that day, as opposed to needing to scrap yet another sheet of drawing paper. It doesn't even have a satisfying feeling when I crumple it's too thick and expensive. 

 When I started writing, I really didn't think I'd whine about having nice things.

What's the point of all this? No point, really. I felt a burning desire to write a blog, and this is what is going on in my life right now.

On a better note, my cabin is surrounded by maple trees, so I'm living in a nest of solid gold. The sun peeked out a couple of times today, and it was literally too beautiful to look at. Absolutely dazzling. I fed a nuthatch from my hand, made amazing french toast (I used Tom and Jerry batter, and holy hell), and I'm currently reading Iron Gold by Pierce Brown. Spoiler alert, it's absolutely fantastic. Can't put it down.

So here I am. I hope everything is going well in your lives. And if it's not perfect, then I hope it's at least leading somewhere. Maybe somewhere nestled in gold. Not going to lie, that was my favorite part of my day. Nuthatch included.



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